Complimentary Complaining

Why do we complain? Why do we even bother? Does it make us feel good? Is it just a way to get thoughts of anxiety out of our head or off of our chest? Do we feel we have a general grievance?

Usually complaining comes attached with anger. Anger is never a good thing. It is a negative reaction that affects us physically and emotionally.

It triggers the body's fight-or-flight response, causing the adrenal glands to flood the body with the stress hormones - adrenaline and cortisol.

Blood leaves the brain and organs and goes into the muscles in preparation for action. We are now ready, willing and able to protect ourselves as dictated by our animal instincts.

Can you imagine being in this state constantly and what it does to us? The constant flood of stress hormones can create many health problems, such as headaches, digestion problems with abdominal pain, insomnia, high blood pressure, skin problems, heart attacks and strokes.

Some people go beyond complaining straight into raging. Their blood boils with their eyes bulging, teeth clenching, adrenaline pumping, and fists swinging?

Understandably, there are valid reasons why a person can be enraged; crimes; injustice; a threat or loss to their body, property, self-esteem, dignity or simply not getting what they expected.

It behooves us not to let the little things get in the way of happiness. For instance if we just finished grocery shopping and we get home and find that the bagger forgot to bag our tomatoes. Do we go all the way back to the store, tell the bagger off for being so incompetent and smash the tomatoes in his face?

What if we order a pizza that is supposed to arrive in 30 minutes or less, but arrives an hour later? Should we call the news stations or 911 (emergency)?

So we don’t feel entirely helpless, there are times when complaining is good. It depends on how we complain and the anger we attach to it. Some of us take matters into our own hands without caring about the consequences; like the woman who was suspicious of her boyfriend cheating.

She tried to catch him in the act with another woman so she climbed through the chimney and got stuck. Emergency workers had to tear down the fireplace, knock down a wall, and excavate the woman who emerged covered in soot.

If we are going to complain, it is much more satisfying to state the problem calmly. Almost as if you are a mediator; as if you’re not a part of it. Make sure the other person understands what you are saying, even if you have to repeat it or rephrase it. Once you’re on the same page and you are communicating in a respectful way, the solution will come.

We have to hone our communication skills and tell people what we want. Though at times, it is difficult, try to say and do everything with love.

If you find yourself angry, step back, relax and approach the problem again. If this doesn’t work, ask for assistance from a friend, coworker, or your higher power. Where there is a problem, there is a resolution.