8 Ways To Stop The Sorry Cycle
We’ve all heard the phrases, “Sorry seems to be the hardest word,” and “Love means never having to say you're sorry,” but what do they really mean?
If sorry really is the hardest word, then why do people say it so frequently? While love means never doing something to ever have to say you’re sorry, situations happen and people get hurt.
If you find yourself repeatedly saying, “Sorry,” hoping that it will absolve you, then you have to look at your behavior. If there is no feeling behind your words, then they are empty and meaningless.
So how can you rectify your behavior and stop the sorry cycle?
1. Admit you made a mistake. Taking responsibility is a huge step in rehabbing your sorry cycle. Without admission, there is no resolution.
2. Write an apology letter. Even if you don’t send it. Write it all down. Write your view of the situation and how it made you feel. Get all of the feelings out of your heart and all of the noise out of your head.
3. Forgive yourself. No matter how bad the mistake was, it doesn’t do any good to beat yourself up. You can't go forward if you don't apologize to yourself.
4. Don't let one mistake lead to other mistakes. Learn from your mistakes. Mistakes of the past should be left in the past. Don't let one cloud darken the whole sky.
5. Don’t badmouth the other person. Don't get lost in the blame game. No one is to blame. Sometimes two people just make mistakes with each other. It doesn’t mean they are bad people, it just means that they are not right for each other.
6. Karma can be as bitter as salt or as sweet as sugar. Everything that happened was supposed to happen. We don’t have to like it or understand it, but it had to happen for the better.
7. Accept what has happened. Accept it in your heart and Soul and move on gracefully. Get rid of the emotional debris.
8. Find out what is missing. If you feel empty, find out what is missing from your life and fill it yourself before you expect someone else to fill it for you. Learn how to make yourself happy.
24 comments:
This is great advice. I think if one does nothing else they must incorporate #1 and #3. We must admit that we are wrong or made a mistake and we must first forgive ourselves and if can add one, allow ourselves to be forgiven by others.
Great advice and so, so true! I loved it! I will be back!
Another thought is to decondition yourself. You have done nothing wrong. No person will reprimand you. Any guilt you create abides solely in your imagination. You are loved unconditionally now and always. Heal yourself.
Mark,
Thanks for that addition. The bottom line is to have forgiveness on all fronts and clear one's emotional debris to begin again.
Heidi,
Thanks for stopping by today and adding your comment. Hope to see you soon.
Liara,
That's a great addition. One has to deconstruct one's conditional responses to oneself and to others. One can't go forward without healing.
nice post.
Alexys,
As always, a pertinent question!
First I would like to say that "sorry" is not the hardest word cause people say it all the time, and like you said, without even meaning it! And Love does not mean that you do not have to say "sorry" (people come up with these things and the world just takes it without questioning them).
1. Admit you made a mistake - absolutely! "Without admission there is no resolution" so true, my dear friend, so true. And for those who do not admit their wrongdoings and endlessly blame on others I suggest therapy (what are they running away from?)..
2. Write an apology letter - this is so cute! And effective too! This used to be one of the exercises done to "deprogram" the mind when I started the path (as to clean the mind and soul of all the things that were troubling me, to let go).
3. Forgive yourself - I couldn't agree more! I agree in gender, number and degree!
4. Don't let one mistake lead to other mistakes - learning from our mistakes is utterly essential! However they should not remain in the past, otherwise we incur the risk of forgetting about them. They should be placed in a box that can be accessed everytime we recognise that a similar situation is on the way.
5. Don't badmouth at other person - I agree.
6. Karma can be as bitter as salt or as sweet as sugar - Amen to that, sister! I agree with everything you said!
7. Accept what has happened - that is correct: just put it behind your back and keep on walking this long road called Life.
8. Find out what is missing - "Learn how to make yourself happy" absolutely! People, many times, try to make others happy and end up by forgetting about themselves *nodding*. Giving is good but receiving is also necessary; besides it is the rule of the universe: give and take; offer and receive...
This was a great post, beautiful :D!
Soulful Cheers
That was a really nice post.
wise words..not easy to do but still something you need to do
Part of the healing process is evolving to realize you create the belief you need for it in the first place.
What a wonderful post! :) Here are my thoughts on some of the points you've written.
2. I love the idea of writing an apology letter, even if you don't send it. I will try that out the next time I mess up.
6. Fantastic! The one belief that allows me to take in everything that comes my way in life.
8. This is a genuine question to you, Alexys. Is there really anything missing?
What a great way NOT to carry baggage from one day to the next. Thanks!
Kriz,
Thanks for dropping by. :D
Max,
"First I would like to say that "sorry" is not the hardest word cause people say it all the time, and like you said, without even meaning it!"
Laughing at your wit.
"...for those who do not admit their wrongdoings and endlessly blame on others I suggest therapy (what are they running away from?).."
Laughing more at your clever humor. They are afraid of themselves.
Apology letters ARE therapy.
"Forgive yourself - I couldn't agree more! I agree in gender, number and degree!"
Brilliant my dear. Perfect in its beginning, middle and end.
"However they should not remain in the past, otherwise we incur the risk of forgetting about them. They should be placed in a box that can be accessed everytime we recognise that a similar situation is on the way."
Absolutely.
"People, many times, try to make others happy and end up by forgetting about themselves. Giving is good but receiving is also necessary; besides it is the rule of the universe: give and take; offer and receive."
Ain't that the truth. If we keep giving and giving and giving, we won't have anything left for ourselves - period.
Give 'n' Take Cheers
Laura,
Thanks for stopping by and adding your comment.
Robert,
It's never easy, but I think if we know we did the best we could, that should stand for something.
Liara,
Starting the healing process can change our lives for good.
Ajeya,
Apology letters work wonders. They can really open up your emotions.
Karma is so exacting. We can never outrun it, trick it or avoid it. Nothing is ever missing my wise one, it's only the illusion that tells us that fallacy.
Sexy,
I never really liked baggage. It's too cumbersome and it makes your back hurt. So I don't carry any - even when I fly across the country, I take only the essentials.
Thanks for stopping in. :D
Alexys,
"Laughing at your wit." - lol ;)
"Laughing more at your clever humor. They are afraid of themselves." - lol...I hear you, sista, I hear you...
"Apology letters ARE therapy." - you are right!
"Brilliant my dear. Perfect in its beginning, middle and end." - thank you *bowing*!
"Ain't that the truth. If we keep giving and giving and giving, we won't have anything left for ourselves - period." - absolutely, darling! I love giving but I love receiving too..specially love :)!
Offer Love Cheers
Max,
Offer And Receive Love Cheers
These are some great tips. We are all going to do things that we need to apologize for and mean it. Beyond that, we need to learn to forgive ourselves as well. Thanks for sharing.
April,
Forgiving is a big one. We can all use a dose in it. Thanks for stopping by and giving your feedback. Hope to see you again.
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