No Guilt Required
People go through great lengths to discredit you if they don't like you, feel that they have been hurt by you or feel that they want to teach you a lesson in something that’s only in their head.
They will make up stories and create reasoning that doesn't make sense to justify their behavior, but it is really because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.
In these instances, we have to step back and let them fall away. We can’t look back and break their fall, they must fall, they must get up and they must walk straight. We cannot be their crutch or they will continue to bring us down. They must walk alone and we must walk away.
Having love for our fellow beings is knowing when we can no longer assist them. Having love for them should never compromise the commitment we have to love ourselves. Even if it is hard to walk away, it is easier than the alternative of staying in negative energy that is not productive.
With each step, we will empower ourselves to fight the unnecessary slings and arrows of our naysayers.
8 comments:
I am truly honoured and humbled to have such a friend as I do in you Alexys. A thousand naysayers cannot extinquish the light that one friend such as you keeps lit.
Your friendship is a precious gift-soul to soul.
Thank you so much for this post,your friendship and your healing blog. xo
I very much agree with what you said here, and actually think you worded it beautifully. We dishonor people when we stay in a situation that isn't serving either of our highest goods.
I had a counselor tell me once that the fact I went into a relationship to "fix" someone (help them, however you want to word it) could actually be viewed as insulting by that person. And as it turns out, that person ended up resenting me for making them feel like they needed to be fixed. And I resented myself for staying so long...
Be well!
You wrote your words from self experiences I am sure, and yet you told of the same feelings from within my heart, with experiences of my own. Sometimes there is an urge to scream out at another, to shake them and try to help them to see, but alas, they cannot see until they choose to open their eyes and hearts. A difficult and sometimes painful place to be. Well said.
Katharina
Hi Uber,
Thank you. I am humbled by your gracious coments. Thank you my friend.
Hi Megan,
Thank you. That's what hapens when you do a favor, you make an enemy.
Be well too.
Hi Katharina,
It's one of those lessons that make us all stronger, to walk away is to walk into freedom.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
I used to have a bad habit of trying to hold these type people, be nicer, be kinder, try to reason with them and be more understanding.
A Buddhist monk pointed out the error in my thinking. He explained that when someone is being an asshole, sometimes the cruelest thing we can do is to stand aside and not tell the person that his behavior is inappropriate. "Buddhism", he said, "Is not about being nice. It is about doing what must be done and saying what must be said".
Hi Em,
There is truth in Buddhism. Letting them go doesn't mean we are less nice, kind, caring, etc., it means that we can finally let them develop, which in itself proves that we are loving.
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