A Bran Muffin Philosophy

As Christmas and the New Year get nearer, nerves get frayed, tempers flare, patience wanes, and stress is unleashed. This is the dark side of an otherwise joyous time and many people get stuck in that darkness.

While the spirit of the holidays are awe-inspiring, the toll it takes on us physically, mentally, and emotionally is exhausting. So if you are getting a little stressed about now, take a break to remember the reasons we are celebrating.

Even what we eat and drink takes a toll on us. I recently attended a holiday party and almost everyone hung out at the bar to get free drinks. They ignored the fabulous spread of food and opted for the tongue loosening elixir.

It is a shame that many of them won’t even remember the party at all, except that they had free alcohol. The overconsumption of alcohol is not really what this season is about. It’s about something much more profound; celebrating the people in your life, your accomplishments in love, your career, yourself.

This is the time you should remember, not forget. A time to embrace those who mean the world to you. The season of love. Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones and create fond new memories for years to come. Whatever you do now will be remembered.

I remember the story of a long-time retired, elderly couple were married for over sixty years. Although the man and women were not poor, they were far from being rich. They managed to get comfortably by skimping and watching their pennies.

The elderly man and women were both in excellent health for their age, mainly because of the wife’s insistence on eating healthy foods and exercising since their sixties.

As fate would have it, their excellent health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed. Being a good, honest couple, they wound up in Heaven.

When the man and woman reached the pearly gates, they got a welcome from St. Peter who escorted them inside Paradise. First, St. Peter took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.

A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. The couple gasped in astonishment while St. Peter said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.”

The man asked how much money all this luxury was going to cost.

“Nothing,” replied St. Peter. “You have earned this by being good during your lives and this is your reward: Heaven with all its blessings and luxuries.”

The man looked out the window and saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

“I love golf but how much for the greens fee? I couldn't afford to play much more than twice a year on Earth.”

“Remember, this is Heaven,” emphasized St. Peter. “Play as much as you want and every time you golf you get it for free, always on the house.”

Soon they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood, lamb chops, steaks, exotic deserts, free flowing beverages and all the over 200 varieties of wine.

“Don't even ask,” said St. Peter to the man. “This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.”

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?,” the man queried.

“This will amaze you, more than the fact everything is free,” stated St. Peter with a smile on his face. “You can eat as much food and drink wine as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat, sick, or really drunk. This is Heaven!”

The man was still not totally satisfied, “No gym either?”

“Not unless you actually want to exercise for the fun of it.”

“No testing my sugar or blood pressure or all the other tests my wife has asked me to do over the last twenty years.”

“Never again,” said St. Peter. “All you do here is enjoy yourself.”

At this point, the elderly man glared at his wife and uttered, “You and your fricken bran muffins and all the other healthy stuff. We could have been here fifteen years ago!”