Negotiate What You Want
Negotiation is a dialogue between two or more people or parties, intended to reach an understanding or gain advantage in outcome of dialogue.
We are a world of negotiators; some of us better than others. Some of us use more words than necessary, others use less. We get into the rhythm of buying and selling everything from manufactured and spamufactured products, emotions, lies, lifestyle, and more.
We go to garage sales and haggle on an item that is 25 cents, we ask for discounts from street vendors selling their wares and we are more than ready to say “No,” to car dealers trying to sell us bells and whistles that we don’t need, but still wind up getting them.
We do not, at any cost like being taken advantage of, but in the end, sometimes it happens to the best of us and we can’t explain it. In our negotiations, we have somehow discounted ourselves, weakened our disposition and resistance to what is not good for us.
We negotiate our feelings, give up what we want for what we don’t, then try to get back to the way we were, but it’s too late to go back so we go on, sullen, jaded and blameworthy.
We descend straight to our absolute threshold requiring the minimum intensity of stimulus.
This is an adjustment period, it is not meant to be permanent, but if not perceived as temporary, it feels permanent.
We are negotiating all the time for what we want, and sometimes the negotiator on the other side seems to get the upper hand, but we don’t have to settle for what we don’t want.
Even if the negotiator on the other side has one piece of your puzzle, but to get it you have to move other pieces out of the way, it’s better than not getting the opportunity to get the piece of the puzzle - the piece you need.
People have a natural algorithm; a set of rules for solving a problem in a finite number of steps. Continuing forward towards your goals regardless of setbacks will switch you into action potential and get you back on track to remaster your quid pro quo-ing skills.
Everything you do is a result of some negotiation, and to navigate the complexities of life you have to learn the art of compromise.
What have you negotiated and regretted?
10 comments:
Sometimes it's hard to negotiate because we don't see the outcome. Knowing what to do is aways helpful, but at times, it's a gamble.
A lot of what passes for negotiation is "accept my position", Alexys.
Hi Lady A,
Very well said indeed *bowing*.
Compromise is a tricky business. Look at politics: many times in the name of common good, politicians have to set aside their personal beliefs and ideals. Many times in order to get A politicians must sacrifice B and C (that are very dear to them).
In family politics: parents many times go against their personal vows in order to shape their kids in the best way they can. Many times they have to sacrifice the comfort of Child A in order to invest in the potential of Child B (even though it breaks their heart).
And so on so on...
Now, what I find interesting is the different meanings of Quid Pro Quo to Latins (including Euro-Latins: Italy, Spain, Portugal, France, Romania) and to Anglo-Saxons: to Latins it means mistake, error; to Anglo-Saxons it means an exchange, a trade (and eventually a compromise). Human language is gorgeous :D.
My life is a constant negotiation (it is all part of the business), but so far I haven't regretted any yet.
Excellent post, Lady A...I bow to you *bowing*!
Negotiating Always Cheers
Hi Kerrick,
I guess you can say that everything we do or say is a gamble when we don't know how the other will react. That's why we have to be good negotiators and take that into consideration.
Hi James,
True. Any way you slice it, it is still negotiation. Both positions come to a compromise.
Hi Max,
I agree, compromise/negotiation can be tricky especially in politics. They appear to compromise but that's just delaying the bomb they've created which is often times worse than the pre-negotiation phase, i.e. U.S. health care law.
Family politics have even deeper roots, you still have to interact with those people even though you may not like the outcome of what they have done.
I didn't know the differences of quid pro quo. What a gift you are. Thanks for the education. Ya gotta love etymology and linguistics.
Fun Fact: Did you know that the language in Avatar (called Na’vi language) was created by University of Southern California linguistics specialist, Professor Paul Frommer. He spent four years creating it. He had to create a language that sounded like it could be spoken by humans, but the actors still struggled to get the words out correctly.
Thanks so much for your profound thoughts and equal love for language.
Language Love Cheers!
Lady A,
"I agree, compromise/negotiation can be tricky especially in politics. They appear to compromise but that's just delaying the bomb they've created which is often times worse than the pre-negotiation phase, i.e. U.S. health care law."
Well, although I believe in free (which is not entirely free) health care (Europe model), I don't think the present US health care law is what its proponents had in mind when they took action to creating it. Like you said: compromising led to this "funny" law. But perhaps it is a step in the right direction, who knows.
"Family politics have even deeper roots, you still have to interact with those people even though you may not like the outcome of what they have done."
True.
"I didn't know the differences of quid pro quo. What a gift you are. Thanks for the education. Ya gotta love etymology and linguistics."
I just realised the differences today (through your post). I took 3 years of Latin (as part of our high school academic program for Humanistics) so when I realised what you meant, based on what I knew, I did a quick research to confirm my suspicions. You are welcome, but in the end you were the one you taught me a new thing :).
Oh yeah...
"Fun Fact: Did you know that the language in Avatar (called Na’vi language) was created by University of Southern California linguistics specialist, Professor Paul Frommer. He spent four years creating it. He had to create a language that sounded like it could be spoken by humans, but the actors still struggled to get the words out correctly."
No, I didn't. That was quite creative of him. Did he publish manuals on his new language?
lol I can imagine the actors struggling to spell out the new words lol...
"Thanks so much for your profound thoughts and equal love for language."
*bowing* you are welcome! ^5
Language Love Cheers
Hi Max,
"I don't think the present US health care law is what its proponents had in mind when they took action to creating it."
I hope it IS a step in the right direction, but the way it was done is really atrocious. Votes were bought, lots of bribery, etc. - and no one read it before they voted. I want people to have health care, but this is not the way to do it.
This post became interactive; the Anglo-Saxon version of quid pro quo. We exchanged information. Don't you love when it works like that? I remember you telling me that you took Latin, I include it when I tell people that you are a polyglot. Your reputation precedes you.
He didn't publish anything that I know of. Maybe James Cameron owns the rights to it because he commissioned the professor to do it. I am not sure. He is working on Avatar 2 to be released in 2016, so his work is cut out for him. When I first saw Avatar, I was more interested in the language. Something about it sounded authentic, but I didn't recognize the syntax, so I researched it at that time. I was pleasantly surprised.
Those actors actually had to WORK in this film. I can't imagine doing it, but it would have been fun.
Keep up the intellectual stimulation and let us sip from the language of the gods.
Language God Cheers!
Lady A,
"I hope it IS a step in the right direction, but the way it was done is really atrocious. Votes were bought, lots of bribery, etc. - and no one read it before they voted. I want people to have health care, but this is not the way to do it."
True.
"This post became interactive; the Anglo-Saxon version of quid pro quo. We exchanged information. Don't you love when it works like that? I remember you telling me that you took Latin, I include it when I tell people that you are a polyglot. Your reputation precedes you."
I ADORE when it works like that. LOL...oh really?
"When I first saw Avatar, I was more interested in the language. Something about it sounded authentic, but I didn't recognize the syntax, so I researched it at that time. I was pleasantly surprised."
I haven't watched it yet; but now I am curious about it. Who knows, maybe one day humans can start talking the Avatar language (does it have a name?).
"Keep up the intellectual stimulation and let us sip from the language of the gods."
You too, girl! Amen to that *raising my cup*!
Language God Cheers
Hi Max,
Humans have so many languages and dialects, I guess one more won't hurt. The language in Avatar is called, Na’vi language.
Love Language Cheers!
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